If Not Us..Then Who?

My husband and I work in our churches youth group. Through the years of working with kids in various programs one thing I realize is….This world is broken mess!! Satan is having a field day with our families and the kids pay the price. Thank goodness we have a Savior...whew!!

There are nights I come home from our youth group at church and I weep for the hurting kids. Some of them have major struggles and obstacles that NO child should ever have to face. I turn my eyes to heaven and say," God why don’t you do something?"….Most  times I hear him say “I did…I created YOU!! “

The above words are to a song, but man do they hit home for me.

We have had many a lesson with the kids on being salt and light in this world…which is much easier said than done.  It’s always easier to say...well someone else will do something.  But what if everyone had that attitude? Yikes!! This place really would be hell on earth.  Just think if the disciples had that attitude. The good news of Jesus would have never been spread.

Youth ministry can be very challenging and very rewarding. Many of the kids are far from mature in their faith. Some of the kids are behaviorally challenging; they act on impulse, they say things that make us cringe. They run hard after God, but sometimes fall just as hard in the process.  It’s our job to pick them up, brush them off, and show them what Jesus love looks like. And through it all, it’s us, the adult leaders that learn that we serve a very big God!!

We shuffle teens to music concerts, we walk the halls of nursing homes with these teen  singing carols and watching faces light up. We shush when they talk too loud or and give the eye when giggling at inappropriate times. We breathe in air that no human should breathe in. We break up fights, we dry tears, we listen, we hug, but most of all we love a 1 Corinthians love.

I can see why serving the youth would be intimidating. With all the challenges, problems and frustrations that come with adolescences.  Why would anyone want to get involved?

Well I have asked myself that a time or two; especially when I’m dragging my behind in to church on a Wednesday night after a day of being pulled in a million different directions with my own kids and work. Trust me the couch sounds really good.  

But let me share just one experience that happened during one of our small groups. 

  

It was a lesson on love, and forgiveness. A girl shared with us that she hadn’t seen her dad is 4 years.  Tears streamed down her young face.  She shared with us she just couldn’t figure out why her biological dad didn’t love her. She wondered what she did wrong, what was wrong with her?  Sigh!!  This is when the holy spirit shows up BIG TIME.

I can’t remember all I said to this beautiful girl. But I can tell you this…God used me because I was open to be used.  I poured God’s truth and love into this girl. But what was even more beautiful is that the other girls in the group poured love into her too. They laid hands on her and prayed over her, and they cried with her. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced, and you could feel a very holy presence of God in the room. She felt love, she felt excepted, and she felt worthy. I thought to myself isn’t that how we all want to feel?

Now this is how God uses people!! Gives me goose bumps!!

You can tell a child Jesus loves them. But it takes YOU listening, praying and investing time with them. Only then will they FEEL the love of Jesus. 

You serve because that’s what Jesus did.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."(Mark 10:45) 

I personally don’t serve so I can boast; it’s to bring glory to my father in Heaven.  I serve because I want each one of these kids to fall in love with Jesus and live a life on fire for the one who saved them.  I serve because this world is broken and we all need the love of a savior.  I serve because each child needs to feel excepted, worthy, and loved.  That happens when God says “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

If not us…then who? Have you ever felt a tug to work in youth ministry? Let me encourage you to give it a try.  It’s not just rewarding for the kids but yourself as well. Are you opened to be used by God?

Father God, I thank you for your mercy and your love. Help me Lord when I want to grumble and complain and feeling overwhelmed by the burdens of this world.  Lord help me to trust in you with all my heart when kids come to me with their problems. Help me to see that you have a plan and a purpose for them, and that you work all things for good. Help me to lean not on my understanding but may I submit to you Lord and your will for my life. Make my paths straight Lord. Continue to give me a servant’s heart lord so I can point the youth to you. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on you Lord the author and the finisher of our faith.
I pray these things in Jesus name. Amen

If not us, then who? If not me then who? Right now, it's time for us to do something.
If not now, then when? Will we see an end, to all this pain? It’s time for us to do something. ~matthew west

Growing up??

My oldest daughter and I were getting excited as the school year was winding down. We were going to redesign her bedroom to make it a little more teenager like as soon as summer vacation started.  We look at pintrest for different ideas, and paint colors. We bought some cool posters to hang. I was moving them around to see where they would look best. 

I said, “why don’t we just hang this poster up over your ponies till we can paint.” (Her room has two pony murals) All of a sudden her face went white. She started to get tears in her eyes. 

“Mom, I don’t know if I want to do this.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Change my room.” She replied. “I just really love my ponies, but I really would like a change too. I just don’t’ know what to do. I’m so confused, what is wrong with me?”

We sat down on her bed, and I told her I understood. You see she is at an age where hormones are raging; logic and reason are replaced with whirlwind emotions. It’s such confusing times for kids. I’m discovering, that’s where we, as parents need to be the calm in the middle of their storm. 

I stared to explain, I get what she was feeling. I shared a story with her when I was about her age and I still had this urge to play barbies with my little sisters, hide and seek, and strawberry shortcake. I had fun playing with them. It was familiar and fun. We had a great time with our barbies and the adventures they would go on. 

But I knew that I was too old to be playing barbies, and this conviction of “you shouldn’t be playing with those things, you’re all grown up.” Hit me, I entered into the “Fear Factor.”  Fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar. What does “growing up” mean? That is scary for a young girl. I totally get where my daughter was at.

But I assured her that her new room will still be “her room” just improved. She can still like ponies, pink, and all things that scream girl; But to open her mind to new things. To trust that it will be beautiful.

As I walked out of her room, and went about my day. I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me.  "You are no different than your daughter. Don’t you do the same thing when I call you to step out of your comfort zone and serve me? Don’t you step back and go Whoa!? I hear you say “that’s scary, that’s unfamiliar, I can’t do that.”

A flood of reasons to why I can’t serve, go flying through my mind.

You see there are specific times in my life the Lord has asked me to serve him in one way or another, or has asked me to do something that was very uncomfortable to me. But He used those times to draw me closer to Him.

For instance, I felt Him call me to serve in our youth group ministry, and awana ministry. But as He called me, there was Satan whispering in my ear. “You don’t know enough about the bible to teach the youth. You shouldn’t do that.” There it was again, the “fear factor.”

But when Satan attacks, how did Jesus handle it?  He fought him with scripture and truth. I rebuked Satan in Jesus name, and said “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” He will guide my paths. (2 Timothy 1:7) So I served, and still serve. Praise the Lord! It is so fulfilling, and the kids teach ME more than I teach them. It’s beautiful!

Then there are times He calls me to forgive people who have hurt me. Ugh, this one is hard, hard, and hard!! “I can’t do this Lord; the pain is just too much. I didn’t do anything wrong to this person, I didn’t deserve their rejection, their painful words, their hurtful actions.”

It’s then I hear His words “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do. Forgive just as I forgave you. For if you love them, they will know you are mine.” So I do, (tho very difficult at times) the freedom I get from it, is beautiful.

You see there was a time in my life where I did everything on my own. I fixed everything; I tried to make everything perfect. I was running the show. But it’s when life hits you upside the head, with trials or hurts, or when things DON’T go the way YOU planned. That God reveals himself to you in a might way, and you realize what dying to self means.

It’s those times I cry out and say, “I can’t do this anymore God.” 

He says, “I know child, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

So I submit, and say,” yes Lord, I WILL boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

Let me just encourage you if you have heard that still small voice inside you. Asking you to step out of your comfort zone to do something for the King, Tho it may be scary, uncomfortable, and unfamiliar. My advice to you is, enter into the “fear factor” with God’s truth and do it, even if you are afraid. 

You rebuke satan in Jesus name and say, “I’m trusting in the Lord with all my heart, and leaning not on my understanding; I will submit to Him, and he will make my paths straight.” Prov. 3:5-6

Even if you fail, He will always be there to pick you up and brush you off again. He is ever faithful!

Just like when I told my daughter to trust me, to open her mind to new things and her room will be beautiful.  The Lord wants you, wants me, to renew our minds; for He make ALL things new and you can trust it WILL be beautiful.

You Are A Masterpiece!

Besides being a artists, wife, and mother, I work part time as a lunch lady at our local middle school. One day I was washing down the tables in the cafeteria, when one of the girls I painted a mural for a few years ago started talking to me. She said that her sister painted over the mural I did for her. "yeah she painted it all purple." My jaw...dropped!!" I could barely utter the word..."what??" "Why?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders and went on her merry way. I just stood there, and a flood of memories, and emotions came over me.

 I remember how excited I felt about that opportunity to paint a underwater mural. I  studied different techniques of blending paints, researching different underwater creatures and coral, studying the reflection the light gives underwater, and all the time I took to prepare for painting this mural. I also remember my aching body from the physical effort it took to paint it. The bending, stretching, and holding my breath hoping paints would blend the way I wanted them to. But what I remember the most was the joy!! The indescribable joy I felt when I finished. The smile that came across my face as I stepped back to take the final look of this mural. (see below for the mural)  It was so beautiful. It was breathtaking. Oh how I love using this talent that God has blessed me with!!

Sigh...but now all covered up...with purple..(gulp) paint...gone... in one swipe of a brush, or roll of a roller. My heart broke. :( (Now don't get me wrong I know it's totally up to the client to do what they want when they buy my art, it's theirs after they pay for it.) Free will...yep...I get it!

But my conversation with that girl, got me thinking of God. I wonder if that's the way He feels when we destroy His creation. When we hurt our bodies with drugs, alcohol, smoking, overeating, etc. What this must do to the Fathers heart. I also wonder, does it hurt Him when we look in the mirror and we hate ourselves? We hate the way we look, it may be your hair, your nose, your smile, your butt, your stomach. Whatever it is that you don't like about yourself. What this must do to the Father's heart, to hear your rip on yourself. When we are made in His very image. 

I imagine Him taking great care in creating us. Just like I do to create a piece of art. You are like a blank canvas to Him. I can picture His face smiling saying I'm going to give her blue eyes like ocean, or I will give Him strong shoulders for heavy work. In Eph 2:10 it says. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

For years I had a horrible self image. I let satan whisper to me and tell me lies about myself. It wasn't til I started digging into God's word and it revealed to me how much God loves me. Let me encourage you stop ripping on yourself, stop hurting yourself! You are created for SO much more!! You are God's masterpiece, created in HIS image...and as my little girl says.."God don't make junk!" Amen!!

What Are You Filled With?

This last week's lesson for our youth group was Do you know you were created uniquely for a plan and a purpose?

As we broke off into our small groups, where we do some in depth sharing. I guess as in depth as you can get with 11 and 12 year olds. LOL! I asked the girls do you know what it means to bring Glory to God, and if so, what are some ways we could do that? "crickets...chirping..silence. UGH!
Time to roll up my sleeves and get busy!! :)

We always do a high low game before we start. We start with everyone's high points of the day, and then their low. They LOVE this. This is such a wonderful way to end our session too, because we give thanks for the good, and pray for the difficulties these kids face. One of my girls shared her low point, she had to sit by a weird, smelly boy for lunch, because the teachers are assigning seats at lunch time. Ugh, and she went on to tell us how disgusted she was, and that is just wasn't fair.  Sigh!! The holy spirit instantly put the song..."Love Them Like Jesus..Show them to Him."  I let her vent, and then...I got out my M&M's.

I asked the girls you are all Christians ..correct? Did you know you all have a mark on you (in) you called the holy spirit? Huh?? Blank stares. I said,"just like these M&M's have a M on them, it shows to us that this is the company it belongs to. But you have the mark of the holy spirit in you, and you were marked for ministry, for a purpose. To bring God Glory! Still...crickets.

I just kept going with it. I said notice the colors of the M&M's they are all different. Just like you, and your personalities. Some of you are red..you are bold, competitive, some are blue you are calm, while others are orange and very assertive. Anyways you all are uniquely different, just like these M&M's God gave us different gifts and abilities that He wants us to use to bring Him glory.

I started to get their attention..either that or the promise they would get some M&M's after the lesson. But none the less...they were listening.

One girl said, "but I don't have any talents."  I assured her she did. She maybe just hasn't discovered them yet. But I said there is something that links us all together as Christians that we can use to bring God glory. It is something He commands us to do. LOVE!!

In John 13:34 Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." and  in Matt 5:44 He says, "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?(in other words how are you showing them you are a Christian.) Our greatest thing we can do is LOVE. Did it not say in 1 Corn 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.?

Then I thought I would drive it home, saving the best for last. I asked the girls..what are these M&M's filled with? Chocolaty goodness. YUM! It's what gives it it's yummy flavor. But let me ask you this...what if it was empty. One of the girls said, "it would just be a empty shell. !!" I said, girls if we aren't filled with God's love, we are empty shells...tasteless.. Oh sure some of us look pretty on the outside, but with out God's love (the chocolaty goodness) on the inside we are nothing but empty shells. But people won't ever experience the wonderful taste of that chocolate if we don't show it.

In John 13:35 it says, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Girls this is how you can bring Glory to God. LOVE!! Even when someone is smelly, even if they are mean to you, even if they are obnoxious.

"But that is hard"...lots of moaning and groaning. I told them I know. But we don't go by our feelings, we go by what is right, and you girls have the power of the holy spirit living in you. The same power that healed the sick, and brought people back to life. Pray about it. God never told us it would be easy. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."John 16:33. Take heart, Jesus makes it worth it. Step out in faith, and obedience, and wait and see what God will do.

We finished our time together by lifting the girls that were struggling with smelly boys, and friendship issues up in prayer. I said a little silent prayer also for each one of those girls. I pray for all us to remember we are a billboard for Christ. God knows our heart, but the world sees our actions. They don't need to see us just going to church..but BEING the church.  This world is tasteless we are the salt and light  (Matt 5:13-16) it is Christ in us that we can show others LOVE or the "chocolaty goodness." We do that with our actions.

On a side note. Our youth group just did a 30 hour famine and our goal was to raise $5,000 for World Vision. It was hard for the kids to go with out eating, and doing community service. But they did it, many thought we wouldn't meet the goal. Me included. But you know what "with God all things are possible" we not only met our goal, but we surpassed it by almost double...we raised 9200$ and being that we met our goal, we were eligible for various government grants which matched it X's 4. For a grand total of $36,000. That feed like 103 kids. 103 Kids will see and feel Christ love for them. Because some kids let their chocolaty goodness flow, and stepped out in faith. WOW! God is good, and it's His love in us that can change the world.

Fibs and Forgiveness

We have had an issue with telling fibs lately with my youngest.  This has been an issue with my youngest more so than with my oldest.  As always the Lord has something to teach me and her, through this all. 

 My little one was playing with her science teacher’s ipad and was picking at the screen cover; so much it made a bunch of air bubbles and trapped dirt on the screen. When confronted by her teacher, she denied it. Even when her teacher said,” are you sure? Now is the time to tell me the truth honey.” She denied it again! Later on in the day, my oldest revealed to me that her sister DID indeed do this. So I pulled her aside and said, “honey did you do that to the ipad.” She denied.  So I pressed further. I said," nobody saw you, but God did honey. He wants us to do the right thing even when nobody is looking. It makes Him proud of us."

I could see the internal struggle written all over her face. Then I said,” Do you know how you make a wrong –right?” She was very interested when I spoke these words to her. I said confess, and ask for forgiveness. First to God, then to the person you hurt or lied to.” I saw her shoulders drop. She asked…”but what if they don’t forgive me?” I told her,”well, God always forgives, His word says when you confess he casts your sins in the depths of the sea, never to be seen again, and His mercies are new every morning. As for people sometimes they will forgive, and sometimes they don’t. You have to trust God with that. When YOU do what is right, it makes God smile. As for the other person you have no control over, but the Lord does. Trust that He will make it all work out for your good. “She wasn’t so sure about that.

Now I knew full well her science teacher would forgive her, she is a wonderful Christian woman, and this would really help me in teaching her about forgiveness and telling truth.

Later that night, my little one confessed to God in her prayers that she was afraid if she told the truth about the I pad the teacher would not let her play with it. But that she was sorry. Yeah…the truth!! But the next morning was a little more difficult and I could see the anxiety in her face.  Standing in front of the one she lied to. Face to face. She was struggling. She needed a little prompting, and it was hard for her. But she did it. And it made this mama’s heart soar. Of course her teacher hugged her, and told her why it was important to tell the truth because lying hurts people.  You could see my little ones whole demeanor change. She was like a whole new person. Skipping and smiling with a new start to her day. Knowing that she was forgiven made her happy once again. 

This subject of forgiveness is so hard. But at the same time so freeing, and is the whole reason why Christ came to earth.  I can tell you working with the youth, nothing starts the waterworks more than this subject of “FORGIVENESS.” Every Sunday school class I have taken on this subject, well, let me just say you better get the Kleenex. Why is it so hard?? 

Unforgiveness is a burden that weighs us down. When you’re in need of it, sometimes you get consumed with guilt, shame. But Jesus came to set that free, in Matt 11:28-30“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Unforgiveness and bitterness is awful. It can actually make you sick. Maybe you have seen a person who is bitter, it’s hard to hide. It’s usually written all over their face. I heard it said “to forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that prisoner is you.” Oh this is so true. 

There are things in my life I have had to forgive others. Time and time again. To be honest it’s not easy. Sometime it take me on the floor crying out to God, help me. Through my tears I always hear His voice, forgive just like I forgive you child. The bible verse goes off in my head…”But if you do not forgive, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins. "Did I not pray the Lord’s prayer thousands of times? “Forgives us our sins, as we forgive others.” Yes I’ve said this over and over. Now it’s ok to say this prayer it’s entirely different to live it. 

Did Christ not live this out for us? That even on the cross, He cried out to the Father “please forgive them. For they know not what they do.” Even while we were crucifying Him, He forgave us.  How can I sit there and not forgive others? But sometimes the hurts of others is so awful, so hurtful, it’s hard to see Jesus through it. 

I’ve been there. It’s through these hurt broken times I envision seeing God, in His throne room so highly exalted, with His glory shining so brightly, and that He would look upon me . The me that is broken, messed up, holding unforgiveness, and He chooses to love me anyways, even though I messed up, even though I’m a sinner. He blinds himself to my brokenness, my imperfections and says..”Child, I love you, and I forgive you. Now go do the same…let my light shine through you and in you to others.” I can then let forgiveness flow freely through me. Not because of who I am, but because of who HE is. 

I can walk away from my tears, bitterness, hurt, and shame.  Just like my little girl, I can skip once more, I can be a happy girl again.

Will you please pray with me? 

Oh Heavenly Father we thank you for your beautiful son Jesus. Through His suffering we are made right with you again. Thank you for forgiving me, for loving me. Lord help me to forgive when I need to, and humble me when I need to ask for forgiveness.  Help me to live a life where you are high and lifted up and glorified, not just in what I say, but in what I DO.  I love you Lord! Amen

My Website

http://wendymcdonnellmurals.shutterfly.com/

Legacy Tree

This summer I had the wonderful opportunity to paint a mural at Shorehaven Assisted Living Center. This mural was call the Forever Tree mural. This has got to be one of my favorite mural to do for so many reasons.  It was such a wonderful experience, and God's fingerprints were all over this mural. From the very beginning to the unveiling.

You see this past summer I was in a funk, a rut of sorts. A case of the spiritual blaaahhhss. So I prayed to God! "Please Lord bring your love back to life inside of me." I guess I was feeling just stuck. If you know what I mean? So I prayed" Lord please bless me with opportunities that you can shine through me to others, that others can see you..feel you...and come to know you. Lord I know you gave me an artistic talent for a reason, but I feel so lost with how to use it right now. Please Lord give me a sign as to how you want me to use it."

 I lifted that heart felt prayer up at the end of June. Then my family went on a little vacation around the 4th of July. When we returned there was this message on my answering machine. "Hi, This is Shorehaven Living Center we would like to talk to you about a mural." :) Hee Haw!! I thought this was God's answer to my heartfelt prayer."

As I met with the director of the facility she explained the purpose of the mural.  It would be called the Forever Tree, and wasn't just a piece of art, it actually had a purpose. The facility was going to hang little photos on the tree of residents that have passed on to their "forever" home. Their eternal home. I can't begin to tell you how honored I was to do this mural.

I have painted murals for nurseries, daycares, high schools, bedrooms, kitchens, doctor's offices,  but I never had the opportunity to paint for this stage of life. I felt very humble, and felt God's presence with me like I never did before.

I returned a few days later with the sketch for the director and some of the residents to see. There were lots of oohs and ahhs, but what got me the most was when one of the residents looked up at me from her wheelchair with such a peaceful look on her face, and said "it so beautiful, and to think someday I will be a part of this tree is even more special." Man it took everything in my power to hold it together.  I lifted up a silent prayer saying..."thank you Lord for this wonderful opportunity."

It took me about a week to finish the mural. During that time I got to know many of the elderly residents that lived there. Every morning I walked in, and would see the residents face light up, and call out to their friends, "the artist is here, the artist is here." I have to tell you, that put such a smile on my face. At home I'm know as the mom, the maid, the mama, hey you, and honey. But here I was known as "THE ARTIST!" I kinda liked the sound of that. :)

Many of the residents would come up and watch me paint, and visit with me. I would have to giggle, because one minute I turned around and they were watching me, and the next they were napping in their chairs. LOL!  I thought,"I'm really that exciting hey??"

But I really did love to getting to know them. Each one had a story to share.   

There was Iona who is 101 years old and with a smile that would make your heart melt. She would sing the good morning song every time she was wheeled up to eat her breakfast. She shared with me she is the youngest of 13 children. I told her "well looks like they saved the best for last!!!" She replied..."I like you." Then there was Karina who came over to America from Croatia in 1951. Who shared with me that her husband passed away some time ago. When I told her I'm sorry to hear that.. she replied ..."good riddins!!." Oh, and let's not forget little Milton who would invite me to happy hour (which by the way is at 3:00 in the afternoon.) but when told they were going to have a party to unveil the mural he asked.."Is there gonna be booze?" LOL. Finally, the family dog that lives there, Al. A full size Collie. Oh so sweet, and loved to steal the food from the residents plates. He even came and drank some water in my paint bucket. He was the sweetest dog, and you could tell he loved all of the residents. Each one of them touched my heart and I feet so blessed to be a part of this project.:)

The day of the unveiling party was such a honor. The room was filled with family and friends of the residents that passed on to their forever home. The families were invited to hang a photo of their loved one on the mural. It was such a  beautiful event, memories shared of "she had a strong faith."or He was stubborn." It really was such a wonderful example of the human spirit, and the beauty of life.

It really made me stop and think about life and how short it is.  I couldn't help but reflect what does my life say about me?  What would others say about me when I'm only just a memory? The words to a song popped up in my head. " Was I love, when no one else would show up? Was I Jesus to the least of us? Was my worship more than just a song?"

I'm a Christian, and at times, it's not easy. Sure it's easy to say I'm a Christian,  it's entirely different to act like one, and live a Christ like life.  You see God puts HIS spirit inside each one of us. His spirit helps us to show love for others, to forgive the unforgivable, to be show hope to the hopeless.  He gave each one of us gifts and abilities, to bring Him glory. He calls us His masterpiece, created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph 2:10.

You get one trip through this life, and someday we ALL will stand before a righteous God. When I look back at my life, I want to leave a deposit, a legacy of faith in Jesus Christ. I want my children and grandchildren to stand firm in their faith no matter what this chaotic world throws at them. I want them to know they have a purpose as they wait for Heaven. I want to live my life as a testimony to all this!

I left Shorehaven that summer day with my cup overflowing with love for our Heavenly Father. He gave me a new revelation about my life, put a spark in my heart. I was so grateful to be able to serve Him with the talent He blessed me with. We serve an awesome God! I feel blessed to be loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing...which I don't do well..so I'll paint

Curse Words and Coffee Pots

I'm sure you have heard the old saying from parents of long ago.."do as I say, not as I do." Well I wish the kids would follow this old rule, sometimes. You see folks I struggle with controlling my tongue sometimes, and every now and then a curse word comes out. Yes, I struggle with cursing! I grew up with curse words being used every time you get mad or hurt. I worked jobs in factories, and restaurants were people's words would make a sailor blush. So this has been a hard area for me to break. Now don't get me wrong I don't go around using the F bomb or anything. But if I stub my toe, yes, my knee jerk reaction is to curse. Or when circumstance are out of control, I sometimes let my actions get that way also.  I'll be the first to admit I need the power of the holy spirit to control my mouth. I'm so much better than I use to be, (thanks be to God) but I'm not where I need to be, and sometimes God uses my children to reveal that to me.

One day my girls were getting ready for school, and my youngest was searching for her other boot and she said, clear as day"where in the he** did I put that other boot." My jaw just dropped! Yep there it was, a little mini me. Ugh, but not the good mini me, the evil filthy mouthed mini me. Then there was the time when my girls were fighting and the older called the younger a poop head. Except she didn't use poop..she used the real word. I felt so shocked when I heard my girls use this language, but with that same reaction. I felt conviction and guilt right along with it. I heard God say, " well, what do you expect? Have you heard yourself lately??"

 So I come before God in prayer and pray.."Oh Lord help me!! I want victory in this area of my life. I know you made me for SO much more.  I want to model what it's like to live for you, and losing it and cursing is so NOT your way." It brings the scripture in Romans 7:15 to mind, I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. And the guilt and shame set in. I'm an awful mom. I'm so screwing up my kids!! Here I want to model what Christ like behavior looks like and when circumstances start getting out of control..why do I let me flesh (feelings, words) do the same??Agh!!!

So when I reach this point of frustration what's a mom to do? Well, I could let satan win and beat me up with his lies. And honestly, I do let him do that at times.  It takes me to turn to God and His word to get me out of my pit of shame. His word says I have His spirit in me. I have the power to deny my flesh, to deny my will, and surrender to HIS. The holy man HIMself said in Matthew "if anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Oh Lord I so want to deny my sinful nature, and follow you. I want to be lead by you. But this takes a daily choice to read His word, to make the effort to spend time with Him in prayer that He will save me from myself. I want to be led by the Spirit, I want to produce fruit, not just by my actions, but by my words also.

God is so faithful, he knows when we need little nuggets of confirmation, those sugar cubes of encouragement. With His help we are doing alright!

The other day my hubby worked a 12 hours day, came home slurped supper down, and left for a youth group meeting, (after the night before being gone til 11:00 cleaning up after a church event.) He was worn out, I could tell. I decided to make him his coffee for the morning, and leave a little note of encouragement for him on the coffee pot. I then went about my business, laundry and tucking kids in. I came back in the kitchen after my kids were in bed, and my girls covered the coffee pot and kitchen with little "love" notes for their daddy. It made this mama's heart smile, and I heard God say, "you ARE leading by example my child. Those little eyes are watching you.  Keep up the good work."

Thanks God for always knowing when I need those nuggets of truth!
Will you pray with me?

Lord help me to deny my sinful nature so that I can come to know you more. I thank you Lord for your faithfulness, and knowing I'm not where I need to be, but so grateful that I'm not where I used to be.   May you be glorified by not just what I say, but what I do also. Lord help me to handle those times when things are out of control, and  thank you Lord for those coffee pot moments!