Curse Words and Coffee Pots

I'm sure you have heard the old saying from parents of long ago.."do as I say, not as I do." Well I wish the kids would follow this old rule, sometimes. You see folks I struggle with controlling my tongue sometimes, and every now and then a curse word comes out. Yes, I struggle with cursing! I grew up with curse words being used every time you get mad or hurt. I worked jobs in factories, and restaurants were people's words would make a sailor blush. So this has been a hard area for me to break. Now don't get me wrong I don't go around using the F bomb or anything. But if I stub my toe, yes, my knee jerk reaction is to curse. Or when circumstance are out of control, I sometimes let my actions get that way also.  I'll be the first to admit I need the power of the holy spirit to control my mouth. I'm so much better than I use to be, (thanks be to God) but I'm not where I need to be, and sometimes God uses my children to reveal that to me.

One day my girls were getting ready for school, and my youngest was searching for her other boot and she said, clear as day"where in the he** did I put that other boot." My jaw just dropped! Yep there it was, a little mini me. Ugh, but not the good mini me, the evil filthy mouthed mini me. Then there was the time when my girls were fighting and the older called the younger a poop head. Except she didn't use poop..she used the real word. I felt so shocked when I heard my girls use this language, but with that same reaction. I felt conviction and guilt right along with it. I heard God say, " well, what do you expect? Have you heard yourself lately??"

 So I come before God in prayer and pray.."Oh Lord help me!! I want victory in this area of my life. I know you made me for SO much more.  I want to model what it's like to live for you, and losing it and cursing is so NOT your way." It brings the scripture in Romans 7:15 to mind, I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. And the guilt and shame set in. I'm an awful mom. I'm so screwing up my kids!! Here I want to model what Christ like behavior looks like and when circumstances start getting out of control..why do I let me flesh (feelings, words) do the same??Agh!!!

So when I reach this point of frustration what's a mom to do? Well, I could let satan win and beat me up with his lies. And honestly, I do let him do that at times.  It takes me to turn to God and His word to get me out of my pit of shame. His word says I have His spirit in me. I have the power to deny my flesh, to deny my will, and surrender to HIS. The holy man HIMself said in Matthew "if anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Oh Lord I so want to deny my sinful nature, and follow you. I want to be lead by you. But this takes a daily choice to read His word, to make the effort to spend time with Him in prayer that He will save me from myself. I want to be led by the Spirit, I want to produce fruit, not just by my actions, but by my words also.

God is so faithful, he knows when we need little nuggets of confirmation, those sugar cubes of encouragement. With His help we are doing alright!

The other day my hubby worked a 12 hours day, came home slurped supper down, and left for a youth group meeting, (after the night before being gone til 11:00 cleaning up after a church event.) He was worn out, I could tell. I decided to make him his coffee for the morning, and leave a little note of encouragement for him on the coffee pot. I then went about my business, laundry and tucking kids in. I came back in the kitchen after my kids were in bed, and my girls covered the coffee pot and kitchen with little "love" notes for their daddy. It made this mama's heart smile, and I heard God say, "you ARE leading by example my child. Those little eyes are watching you.  Keep up the good work."

Thanks God for always knowing when I need those nuggets of truth!
Will you pray with me?

Lord help me to deny my sinful nature so that I can come to know you more. I thank you Lord for your faithfulness, and knowing I'm not where I need to be, but so grateful that I'm not where I used to be.   May you be glorified by not just what I say, but what I do also. Lord help me to handle those times when things are out of control, and  thank you Lord for those coffee pot moments!