Growing up??

My oldest daughter and I were getting excited as the school year was winding down. We were going to redesign her bedroom to make it a little more teenager like as soon as summer vacation started.  We look at pintrest for different ideas, and paint colors. We bought some cool posters to hang. I was moving them around to see where they would look best. 

I said, “why don’t we just hang this poster up over your ponies till we can paint.” (Her room has two pony murals) All of a sudden her face went white. She started to get tears in her eyes. 

“Mom, I don’t know if I want to do this.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Change my room.” She replied. “I just really love my ponies, but I really would like a change too. I just don’t’ know what to do. I’m so confused, what is wrong with me?”

We sat down on her bed, and I told her I understood. You see she is at an age where hormones are raging; logic and reason are replaced with whirlwind emotions. It’s such confusing times for kids. I’m discovering, that’s where we, as parents need to be the calm in the middle of their storm. 

I stared to explain, I get what she was feeling. I shared a story with her when I was about her age and I still had this urge to play barbies with my little sisters, hide and seek, and strawberry shortcake. I had fun playing with them. It was familiar and fun. We had a great time with our barbies and the adventures they would go on. 

But I knew that I was too old to be playing barbies, and this conviction of “you shouldn’t be playing with those things, you’re all grown up.” Hit me, I entered into the “Fear Factor.”  Fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar. What does “growing up” mean? That is scary for a young girl. I totally get where my daughter was at.

But I assured her that her new room will still be “her room” just improved. She can still like ponies, pink, and all things that scream girl; But to open her mind to new things. To trust that it will be beautiful.

As I walked out of her room, and went about my day. I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me.  "You are no different than your daughter. Don’t you do the same thing when I call you to step out of your comfort zone and serve me? Don’t you step back and go Whoa!? I hear you say “that’s scary, that’s unfamiliar, I can’t do that.”

A flood of reasons to why I can’t serve, go flying through my mind.

You see there are specific times in my life the Lord has asked me to serve him in one way or another, or has asked me to do something that was very uncomfortable to me. But He used those times to draw me closer to Him.

For instance, I felt Him call me to serve in our youth group ministry, and awana ministry. But as He called me, there was Satan whispering in my ear. “You don’t know enough about the bible to teach the youth. You shouldn’t do that.” There it was again, the “fear factor.”

But when Satan attacks, how did Jesus handle it?  He fought him with scripture and truth. I rebuked Satan in Jesus name, and said “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” He will guide my paths. (2 Timothy 1:7) So I served, and still serve. Praise the Lord! It is so fulfilling, and the kids teach ME more than I teach them. It’s beautiful!

Then there are times He calls me to forgive people who have hurt me. Ugh, this one is hard, hard, and hard!! “I can’t do this Lord; the pain is just too much. I didn’t do anything wrong to this person, I didn’t deserve their rejection, their painful words, their hurtful actions.”

It’s then I hear His words “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do. Forgive just as I forgave you. For if you love them, they will know you are mine.” So I do, (tho very difficult at times) the freedom I get from it, is beautiful.

You see there was a time in my life where I did everything on my own. I fixed everything; I tried to make everything perfect. I was running the show. But it’s when life hits you upside the head, with trials or hurts, or when things DON’T go the way YOU planned. That God reveals himself to you in a might way, and you realize what dying to self means.

It’s those times I cry out and say, “I can’t do this anymore God.” 

He says, “I know child, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

So I submit, and say,” yes Lord, I WILL boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

Let me just encourage you if you have heard that still small voice inside you. Asking you to step out of your comfort zone to do something for the King, Tho it may be scary, uncomfortable, and unfamiliar. My advice to you is, enter into the “fear factor” with God’s truth and do it, even if you are afraid. 

You rebuke satan in Jesus name and say, “I’m trusting in the Lord with all my heart, and leaning not on my understanding; I will submit to Him, and he will make my paths straight.” Prov. 3:5-6

Even if you fail, He will always be there to pick you up and brush you off again. He is ever faithful!

Just like when I told my daughter to trust me, to open her mind to new things and her room will be beautiful.  The Lord wants you, wants me, to renew our minds; for He make ALL things new and you can trust it WILL be beautiful.