Tears In A Bottle

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

Well It's the end of August and summer is coming to an end. Sigh... I love having the lazy days of summer to relax and not have a schedule and not have to run here and there. But this summer was such a roller coaster of emotions, I hate to admit it but I'm glad it's done. 

My girls called this summer the "roller coaster summer."  We experienced such highs and some major lows. But what we discovered time and time again, God is in control.

Our summer consisted of a family vacation of a lifetime out west. I hated leaving our black 13 yr. old lab, Purdy (she had been sick earlier this year). We left her with my sister up north. I knew she loved it up there, but we also knew old dogs don't handle change well. But we really had no other choice. I knew my sister would give her lots of love and good care.

We had a wonderful time on our vacation. Made some wonderful memories with our kiddos. Saw things that took our breath away. Got to stand at the foot of a mountain and sing "how great is our God." Ahhhhmazingg!!!

But meanwhile back home...Purdy didn't do so good. The first week was rough..not eating, tummy issues, not sleeping. But then the second week she bounced back and had a great time chasing gophers, eating scraps of food dropped by my niece, and hanging out with my sisters lab Toby. But the 3 day into the third week she stopped eating, and the fourth day I got the call early in morning saying Purdy had another seizure and she wasn't doing well. My sister took her to the vet that morning. We hopped in the car and tried to make it in time, but got the call that the vet couldn't find a pulse and they had to put her down. 

We didn't get to say goodbye. 

After 13 years of love and devotion, we didn't get to say goodbye to our old girl. I can't tell you friends how this hurts my heart!  How it hurts my children's heart. But once again I'm reminded I"M NOT IN CONTROL. ugh!

I never thought in a million years I would have shed as many tears for a dog, but I have. It's one thing to deal with the grief in your heart, but to try to comfort your children's is a whole other thing.

Purdy was in our family for 13 years. We have been married for 16 years, so not much of our married life have been without our Purdy. My children don't remember life without their Purdy girl. 

So we push through and go on. But there definitely is emptiness in our home. 

We know she was a gift from almighty God to our family. We praise Him for her love and devotion to our family! She truly was the best dog. Always obedient, always loving (even if you just yelled at her for eating your kids science project.)  Always there to greet you with a wagging tail, and for Phil (my hubby) a song.

So our hearts are sad, and feel her loss everyday. But we find comfort in knowing that God sees that. He knows sorrow, and HE is our comforter, He is our peace.

In Psalm 56 it says He keeps track of all my sorrows, and hold all my tears in a bottle, and He records them in His book.

Now this scripture hits me like a ton of bricks this summer as I reflect upon it all. I remember standing and looking up at Mt. Moran in the Tetons saying, "Wow! God you are an amazing creator!" as tears of joy spread down my cheeks,  and a few days later holding my beloved labs paw saying, "Wow! God you are an amazing creator." as tears of sorrow spread down my cheeks. 

Each time God was there!

How great is our God; that He sees me at my greatest and at my lowest, and He is soverign through it all. 

Scripture tells me; He holds ALL my tears. He was there in my mountain top moment and in my valley. He holds my hand through it all. (Isaiah 41:13) I don't have to go it alone. His word says He will never leave me or forsake me. (Deut 31:6)

As summer comes to an end...lots of firsts in our home. First time we mowed the grass with out having to go get the pooper scooper. First time I swept the floor and didn't have any dog hair, and the first time I entered our house, and I didn't hear the thump thump of a tail to greet me. Sniff, sniff! 

It's a new normal for us, and I know it will get better. 

But this summer I was reminded I'm not in control, and I never have to go it alone. 

I have a savior who sees, who feels, and who loves me through it all...His scars prove it!

Blessed be the name of the Lord!